Will Ms. Britney Please Come Back!

I'm so excited yall!!! Mrs. Britney Spears Federskank has pop out a little baby boy! Now my excitement over this event may seem a bit premature as anyone who knows me can tell you I have missed my fabulous slut a lot queen over the last 9 or so months! But I welcome the arrival of this little baby, whose real name I do not know because of the tabloid press, simply because now that Britney is no longer pregers she can hit that treadmill and whip her amazingly awesome stomach back into shape! If there is one thing I admire about Britney, besides the fact she made Justin Timberlake cool, it is that her stomach is the most amazing thing since sliced bread! She has the stomach gay men can only dream about! And to top it off she LOVES to show it off!

See Briters is a lot like that really fun but a little bit slutty girl that most gay men were friends with in high school. You know the one! You were always defending her character even though just slightly inside you really knew she was a ragging hoe. But you reveled in her sexual exploits with the hot jocks because it was as close to a real boy as you were getting! Yeah, well I figure that Britney is that to a nation... No a GLOBE! Now in my original comparison I didn't think about this, but as often happens with said high school friends, Britney has grown up(?) and married a scum bag who will now live off her for the rest of his wife, he has successfully knocked her up and changed her life for ever. Thankfully for the fab Brit she's loaded so she won't have proven the comparison further correct buy moving into her parents double wide with her husband and new baby... Well at lest for the time being.

Seriously though, I've got my fingers crossed that she'll kick that booty back into the shape it was in during her Ms. days! Hit me Brintey, just one more time! I need those hip huggers and tube tops! Show all these third wave feminists that like Pam Anderson you're sexuality is your key to control! And keep making dance music babe! Cuz I can not stand to think of a pop-punk album from you!